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Some of the profiles that I have read are pretty extensive and now I've got profile envy. So, I have decided to add a lot to mine and try to impress and convince you that I am not a total loser. Even if I have to lie.
Most of my time since graduating has been spent trying not to grow-up. The first step was to never marry or have kids. I have, however, been with the same women for what will be 20 years around the time of our reunion. Her name is Sarah. Next was to keep playing sports, but with the aches and pains continually spreading throughout my body and getting more intense, the sports have changed from football & basketball to volleyball and tennis. Even they are getting to be tough on the body. Soon it will be just chess!
Refusing to admit that I was getting old, I joined the army at age 30 to become, that's right, an Army Ranger. This had nothing to do with our high school mascot. In my effort to still try and impress, I feel the need to point out that after initial physical and mental tests, I was invited to try out for SFODD: the famous Delta Force that of course doesn't really exist. Unfortunately, right before I was supposed to try out, I was sent to take part in the planned invasion of Haiti. The invasion was called off, so at the time I should of been trying out, I was sweating my butt off on an aircraft carrier. Since I would of had to re- up to try again and wouldn't of made it anyway (most men don't), I decided to become a civilian again. Sarah has no doubts I would of made it. Now you know why I am still with her: totally unrealistic faith in me.
Since then, I ran for the State Senate: unlike Mark O'flaherty, I lost. (I'm not even sure if my mom voted for me.) The strangest thing I did (I'm sure all of you that know me remember that I stutter) was to become a sort of DJ. I called it "Extreme Karaoke." It consisted of karaoke (which I was never into) and other musical instruments: Drums, guitar, and bass that people could come up and play along with the songs. I quickly got tired of dealing with drunks, so it lasted about a year. I play the guitar (not very well) and have recently been thinking about coming out of retirement on the drums and joining a band again (I just won't grow up.) And for awhile, I started giving classes in self-defense out of my house.
Man this turned out to be long so you guys had better be impressed, especially since I had to make up most of it. (Hint: Sarah is not real.)
Well, take care everyone and I hope to see you at the reunion.
Bart
